Mollynjosie Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi I'm Samantha Im 37 last year I had a s.h.s I'm finding the aftermath of it not easy to cope with I've been told by some people To get over it. Move on. But how do you when your life you had has gone. I was a active person I spent most of the day outside Doing farm work. Now I get fatigued. Worn out. I used to sleep after lunch and not wake up till 6 pm I can't even go to the shops Without having to find a seat before I fall down. I'm that tired what makes it worse when I had the bleed I had 5 angiograms the Doctor who performed them can I say it Ballsed it up quit literally so I only have one vein to brain wish is not a great thought the stroke was down right side my side I write with ( used to ) I can't hold a pen. Not even a cup I've broken 5 already as i can't hold them I also have been left with memory loss everything before the bleed has gone and now I don't remember what people have said to me I hate this as it has caused upset with me I've realized throwing things doesn't help.some people have told me to get on with life the doctors have told me I should be dead with the bleed I had but they can't tell me why it happened as it wasn't a anurism they can only say a vein in my head split likeba garden hose. If there is anyone that has had a s.h.s young or mature I'd like to chat to people who know what it's like to have gone threw this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi Samantha Very warm welcome to the site. can I say you are no way alone in how you feel, people that say those things are thoughless & un-careing take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vivien Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hello and welcome to the site, there are people here who understand. Vivien Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kempse Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hello Samantha and a warm welcome to BTG. I'm sorry that you have suffered a sah and the experience that you have had. It is very frustrating and annoying when people say things like that to you - I don't think they would be saying such things if they had to walk in the shoes of someone who has had a sah. Such comments are most unhelpful. I'm not sure how long ago this happened to you, but having been a member on here for some time, I have read many stories where people have improved considerably over time and I hope you can be comforted and inspired by these stories too. There is a lot of support through this website from people who have been through a sah and I'm sure this will be of benefit to you. Take care, Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winter Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi Samantha! Welcome to Behind The Gray I feel badly for you, that you've not gotten the proper support you need after a SAH. I'm sure it's been a struggle and of course it's so frustrating when people say hurtful things. It's hard enough just having gone through the initial shock of sah, but you've also got complications to deal with and you need helpful, positive people around. Behind The Gray is a wonderful place to be. Everyone here is kind, supportive and helpful. You'll find lots of information and if you have questions, ask away! Someone will be able to point you in the right direction. We're all here to help one another - so welcome! Take care and get the rest you need. Keeping you in my thoughts for a smooth recovery!!! Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelBel Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi Samantha Welcome to the site. Sorry to hear you have also been through SAH and that you have been left with complications. I was 37 when I had my SAH 19 months ago. I did have an aneursym that was coiled. I can't imagine not knowing the cause of SAH, although there are a number of members on here who have also suffered Non-Aneursym SAH so I am sure you will get some more assistance from them. 5 Angiograms is a hell of a lot to deal with - why so many :confused: Was that all in a short period of time? Have you been referred for counselling at all? Or is it something you can speak to your GP or hospital consultant about? I found it so helpful and I know others on here have also benefitted from it. Hope to hear more from you soon Kel x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandi K Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi Samantha, welcome to BTG! Which Victoria are you from? I'm near Victoria British Columbia Canada. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi Samantha Welcome to the site and to the family. You'll find lots of understanding people here who can give you sound advice rather than telling you to move on or get on with it - not so easily done after a bleed!!!! I was 35 when I had my bleed (five years ago next month) and it is the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. Look forward to getting to know you, but make sure you take care of you first and foremost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riane Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi Samantha, I'm new here too. I'm glad you (and I) found your way here. It's so wonderful to know we're not alone and that others are going through the same thing. I'm 42 years old, I had a non-aneurysmal SAH a little over 5 weeks ago, on June 17th. It's scary to not know what caused it. "They" tell me it's unlikely to happen again. I accept that is what the statistics say. But why? Why did it happen in the first place? Why wouldn't it happen again? I can't go into stores either. For me the lights are too much for my head. The sounds are too much and too sudden. I have a very large garden, my family tries to grow as much of our own food as possible. The weeds are now taking over, crops aren't being harvested. The potatoes are heaving above the ground and going green, but I can neither cover them, nor harvest them, as either takes more energy than I have. When my husband is home from work he's too busy with our 2 year old to take care of the garden. It breaks my heart to watch it get out of control like that. But, my mantra is becoming "surrender, surrender, surrender". That's really hard for me to do. Even when I do think I've done it, I find myself thinking "well, I've surrendered, how come nothing has changed?!" Good luck. You are not alone. Riane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Although you are going thru poo times at the moment..Never Ever give up....Time is a great healer....... I was out of it for over a year... put my family thru it also....but never give up....Do things you like ...I love singing I can't sing but love old songs ...now my husband wants my shunt op reversed as I dont stop talking/singing ...he is joking I hope ! Riane and Sam welcome to BTG....and keep the smile !!!!!! Now give us a song Love WinB143 xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi Samantha, I was 38 when I had my sentinel bleed and was 42 when I had the next SAH .... the second time, I also stroked on my left hand side and it affected my eyesight and balance. The fatigue is hard to deal with and to manage, but hopefully it will improve for you .... don't ever give up hope, as you can often see improvement over many years and that's what I've experienced. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill B Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi Samantha, Welcome to BTG or SAHs- R- US, as I like to think of it. You've had a really bad time of it, and not knowing the cause must be a real worry. Most of us, on this site, do know the cause of our event, so we have a "Problem+ operation = recovery" sequence to make sense of what has happened to us. You don't have this, so must be worried about a re- bleed. I know there are others, on this site, in the same situation and they are better placed than me too offer advice. I am shocked to hear that you had five Angiograms. Was this all on the same day? I had two on the same day and was extremely sick for twenty four hours afterwards.The nausea and headaches lasted for months. I asked the Doctor who performed the procedures if it was his first day on the job, which didn't go down too well. It's no wonder you feel so bad. Don't listen to those who tell you to get over it, or move on and put it behind you. If you had plaster- castes on all four limbs, they wouldn't say these things, but you don't, so tell them read- up on brain trauma or direct them here and let them see for themselves the devastating effects that a bleed can have on your life. Someone posted, on a thread, on this site, that "it's like wading through treacle". This sums it up perfectly for me. Sometimes its like physical treacle and sometimes its just mental treacle, but it's all clawing at you, slowing you down and slowing your thoughts. Well Samantha, we're all in the black, sticky- stuff together at BTG. I hope you feel better soon. All the best. Bill B. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi samantha welcome to btg sorry you have to be here look forward to chatting soon. Jess.xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollynjosie Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Hi I'm Sam ( f ) im 37 yrs last year 010 I had a s.a.h and subsequent stroke. That has left me with hardly any feeling in right side It's like I'm carrying a log before all this happened I was an active person on our farm I could pick up square bales of hay and throw them. Pick up 30kg feed bags with no probs but today I can no longer pick up those bales or the feed bags. I can't even get My boots on without help it sucks excuse my language but to go through what I've been through and still do you would be angry I'd love my life the way it was but to not be able to hold a cup without you not feeling it and it breaking I've gone through a few as I don't want to be treated differently but it gets to you sometimes I feel if I had the arm amputated I could accept it but to go from a active person to a person who has to rely on family members to carry things. Put your boots/ shoes on it's a bit depressing Which I had before the s.a.h but we were on a straight line but now it's like a big wave and when you fall off it's bad I just needed to get it off my chest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelBel Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Hi Sam Welcome to the site. I hope you will also find lots of help, advice and understanding on here. Sorry to hear you have suffered as much as you have done. I was also 37 when I had my SAH but have been lucky and recovered remarkably well. I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you have an aneursym? and if yes, what surgery did you have? Are you having any physio to help regain use of your right side? - if this is possible? Have you had any counselling via your GP? (sorry for lots of questions - I hope you don't mind) I am not surprised you are angry. It is a traumatic and hellish thing to have been through, and you still have permament reminders of this event. You have now found a place to release your frustrations and get some advice and help from others who have been through SAH - albeit we have suffered in different ways and had different severities of bleed and other medical issues. Hope to hear more from you soon, take care Kel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionaH Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Hello and welcome to BTG I am sure you will find lots of support and understanding here :redface: I had my SAH earlier this year, I'm 31 and felt a little of what you describe. Although I can't imagine a much more physical job than working on a farm I was someone who walked miles and miles every week, it was my bit of 'me time' in a hectic life and right now I don't even have that. Everyone seems to experience and deal with their SAH in different ways but you aren't alone here x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnamarie Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Hi Sam and welcome to Behind the Gray you will find loads of lovely people here who are a great support. Look forward to chatting to you donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Sam, My daughter helped me a lot after SAH...I used to dream she wanted me to squeeze her hand, She was doing excersise with me but I wasn't with it then...Time has moved on and where I couldn't do much for myself...after my shunt I have come on leaps and bounds. Every day you will get stronger......Do things for yourself.(what you are able to) and keep smiling Good luck Sam and sing it makes me happy Regards WinB143 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Hi there Don't be confused everyone - I have merged both of Sam's (Mollynjosie) threads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahLou Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Hi Sam, welcome to BTG, I'm new to this site too and it's been like a godsend to me. I was 38 when I had my SAH least aug, wham, the end of things as you knew them. I know I've harped on about it before but if you haven't already please,please read 'a letter from your brain' on the home page in inspiration. It really does make you take a step back and think. You were a very fit active person before this happened to you and I can understand all your frustrations. I,like FionaH used to walk many miles a week, I also cherished the 'me' time I got from my 3 mile walk to work. I now have vision problems, I manage little walks,which I love,but wish I could do more. Fingers crossed in time I will. You've every right to be angry,don't think you'd be normal if you weren't! Take each day as it comes, your'll gain strength from the people on here. SarahLou Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandicoot Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Oh, I feel so sad hearing how tough it has been for you - it makes me want to cry, as of course you must do too. What a difficult and traumatic time you have had! I am glad you have found this site and I do hope you can find some support, information and the practical assistance you need in your recovery. We all say here we get better with time and it's true. Some of us do have a harder journey than others on the recovery path though. We all have a right to get help on this healing journey. Sam, I hope you can find out what support and assistance is available and expect that you should get all the help you can for as long as you need. Good wishes chum on this tough journey Tracy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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