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Four years. That's fruit and flowers isn't it?


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This time four years ago I was sitting down after a wonderful but busy day with two of my dearest friends and enjoying a chat and catch up over a couple of cheeky drinks and coffee. One was my job share partner in the role I loved and the other an ex colleague going back to my early days at work. I had another busy day ahead so was staying up in London but it's my very last memory from my 'old brain' and so I cherish it as the following morning at my work event, surrounded by hundreds from my company I was felled by my SAH.

I have zero memories other than those I have been told since. I was a lucky lucky girl , people recognised it was a brain event and I got help for what was a big SAh , grand mal seizure and hydrocephalus and i was just round the corner from the National in London . My work wife stayed with me throughout for the ambulance ride to uclh and then the national and remained until husband and mum could get to me but I just have the odd flash back but no true recall and I really am pleased as the events I experienced later on were already enough to trigger PTSD later in my recovery.

It was four days before I came around properly and even then it was to total bewilderment and having ground hog day moments as to why things were so odd, and what on earth was that tube in my head for, and who are you again?

Those following days are pretty clear and unpleasant to be honest but I don't dwell on those memories that often now, they played with my fears for far too long. It was a fairly significant stay in hospital , a return of three weeks for yet more surgery to have my shunt placed , no driving for 15+ months and two very sad scared young daughters ( not to mention traumatised hubbie with all my blue lights trips I had before shunt got Put in). Together We weathered a pretty big life hurricane.

That year was really hard , full of pain , trauma, set backs and fear but throughout it I was loved, supported and never lost hope that things could get better. And they did. Slowly and surely I have reached my new life goal of ' steady for the most'! BTG played a big part in that process so I really do thank you all. Karen and founders for creating it, Paul and Lyn whose story left me humbled , Win whose singing reached my darkest moments and made me realise you just have to carry on and find the smiles in each day , SM showing me travel with shunt is possible, that's just a few but many of you have helped me get this far so i thank each of you for giving time to me and others and for all for the reassurances, the shared experience, the encouragement , fun comments and banter and the hope for better you gave to me.

My colleagues still carry the memory trauma of that day as do I and will for ever but thankfully like my scars it has faded for them as I, we all tracked my recovery , noted my progress and in time over those four years since I have been able to regain and return in part to some of what I did previously.

Tomorrow, I'll hug my girls and chap, I will work from home differently and for less hours than my old style but I will enjoy and manage it. I will smile and sing a little I expect and most of all I will be thankful for the day arriving and for that day four years ago when I Survived. I'm different today but then who isn't, I take each day as it comes some better than others and enjoy as many moments as I can.

Have a happy International Women's Day everyone, I plan to celebrate this and all the other SAH woman tomorrow!

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Hi Daffodil- four years dealing with that traumatic life-changing hand you were dealt by SAH. You have done so well!

 

I have only known you for fifteen months, but you are truly an inspiration in how you have tackled SAH head on with your `chap` and now not so young family.

 

Well done and a sincere thanks for the time`s you have shared your advice in my threads, and for the positive, pragmatic approach you take to your changed life. Your willingness to share your experience with others is always so helpful and challenging.

 

Your blog `Pop Goes Tifty`  is very honest and open. Thanks for sharing.

 

I admire how you and the other moderators/administrators give of your time to oversee BTG, given the life changing event you have all experienced.

 

Keep strong and wishing you well in facing the demands tomorrow holds

 

Subs

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An amazing journey and I am sure the support of your family, friends and your determination have been what has led you to the person you are today. Very big thank you for all the support and encouragement you have given to members over the years. It is great for people to see that from a very bad SAH there is a life that can be achieved x

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Daff, enjoy those precious hugs today and I wish you a happy SAH anniversary.  :)

 

For me, my SAH anniversary is always a day of reflection and a celebration of life and being thankful for the extra time that I've been given. Life is different and very challenging at times.....but it's certainly taught me to take time to smell the roses.  :)

 

One of the greatest rewards of running BTG is seeing the progress of individual members over time and despite all of your tough challenges Daff, you've done so well on your journey and it's been my pleasure to personally meet you along the way.

 

Thank you for all of the help and support you give to this site and for sharing your experiences with us and I know that many members, including myself have found great comfort from your compassionate and thoughtful responses on the forum. 

 

Hugs Daff.....wish I could give you one in person today! x

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Daffs,

 

We told each other about our shunts and it was nice to know you felt the tubes and lumps just like I did.  It is a pleasure to know you and sing to you ha ha xx (as if you had a choice) !!

 

I was jealous of your "Hi Spec shunt" which is the super dooper type and I am glad it makes my songs sound better lol.

 

Now one verse of I will Survive  as we are Survivors xx As sung by Gloria Gaynor

 

Love you lots and from one barometric head to another God Bless xxxxx

 

Win xxxx

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Hi Daff,

 

Wow 4 years - congratulations on reaching this point and on all you have achieved during that time. The support you have given to me since I joined BTG has been invaluable, so thank you.

 

I hope you have had a good brain-aversary, as I like to call it, and got to spend some quality time with your family.  

 

Gemma xxx

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Hi Daff,

 

So sorry I missed your 4 year anni-versary, well done you, :)

 

I have taken a lot of inspiration from your posts since I came to this site,

 

You are always very supportive of other people, even when you are having

bad days yourself.

 

Thanks for always having a kind word for me when things are getting tough,

you have a way of always making me feel better.

 

You are a lovely lady and I hope you had a lovely day with your girls and your chap.

You deserve it.

 

Love

Michelle xx

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Congratulations on your anniversary Daff sorry I missed the day too. You are an inspiration to everyone on BTG and have certainly offered me many helpful words since I came here.

Hope you enjoyed the day with your family.

Clare xx

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So beautiful Daff. I am coming up on three years and it's really the first year, of the three years, I feel like I can do things. It is such a long and scary journey. I can't say I don't miss my old life cause I do. I can say I am blessed beyond belief and actually will be celebrating my 50th birthday on my three yr brain bleed. My birthday is Apr 7 and I had mine on Apr 9. My daughter asked me if was would be in the Middle Ages!

Well, Middle Ages here I come!

Iola

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oh Daffs...sorry I missed your anni.  I'm so happy that you are here on btg to let us all share this with you.  You have been an inspiration to me also since I joined.  I believe you are one of the wonderful people that hooked me up with you-know-who....my great pal Win and I've often thought of you when I speak to her.  Your next four years will be great for you without a lot hiccups - I know.  You made it 4 years!  Yahoo!

 

Much love,

Carolyn

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