3 Things we Miss

[amexdm]

Hello,

Been thinking the last few days about some of the things I really miss. I ask you folks 3 things you miss since having your SAH but how you have/could make a positive out of it. The 3 things I miss most:

Music- I love music and I think sometimes it can soothe the soul and take you to different places and times. Only now any loud noise bothers me. Occasionally I can listen to my favorite tunes but usually only in the morning before the headache kicks in- But I hope to someday rekindle my hobby

Exercise-Used to go to the gym 3-4 days a week and run and lift weights. Cant do either right now. But since it's only been 5 months maybe I can get back to it. I get tired walking to the lunchroom at work. Positive side is I am eating better and watching my weight.

Drinks- I am Scottish and come from a family of parents, Uncles, cousins who liked to drink. I would have an occasional few good Vodkas on Saturday night but in my current state it gives me a headache and makes me tired. Maybe better for my health I guess.

I know there are more important things we may miss but these were my everyday things that I miss.

Anyone else care to share?

David

[Carl]

I miss being crazy all the time, but I still appreciate the times when I let myself go.

I miss the feeling of being normal. if that makes any sense. I also enjoy being different than anyone else I know.

I miss the days of no headaches. But I acknowledge the fact that my body and mind tell me when I have had enough.

[Gill C]

I miss my energy, being able to do several things in a day & not suffer for it. Now I hope I do just the important things

I miss being able to listen to music when driving, I simply can't concentrate on both things at once

I miss being able to read big tomes (such as the lastest Children of the Earth series) & follow family line or complicated plots.

On the up side I have discovered an artistic side to myself I never knew I had, card making is a passion now. I am a lot more tolerant & a lot less judgemental these days too. There are pluses to the new me

[goldfish.girl]

I miss music too. As a fellow Scot - weekends were for a few drams with some loud music playing. The positive is that my neighbours are probably very pleased!!

I miss being allowed to drive - going to the beach and watching the sea is my favourite thing to do. The positive is that I have 5 days of brain tests coming up & if my brain behaves I may be able to go to the beach again whenever I want. A positive would be that walking & using buses has meant I have bumped into people I haven't seen for years.

What I miss most is the person I used to be. Hard to find a positive for this one. I'm a quieter, more empathetic person now but I liked the party person I was, good fun, good company & always up for a laugh and think I will always miss her.

Michelle

Edited January 12, 2012 by goldfish.girl

[Louise]

I miss being who I was & doing the things I used to do....

Also I am Scottish too but cant say that I miss the drinking part.....

But now I am a person with a lot more confidence than before - a plus.

I have a lot of determination which I never had before - a plus.

I tolorate things more.

Try not to dwell too much on who you were it has a habbit of eating at you....

[KelBel]

I love this thread!

I miss being carefree and doing what I want when I want without having to think too much about it… but I think I used to overdo it quite often pre-sah and the real positive now is that I weigh up what to do and when, and I make allowances for myself. I listen to my body more and do the things I really want to do rather than cramming everything in, and going along with stuff I didn't always feel comfortable with.

I miss not having to worry too much about lots of noise. I do suffer from noise-sensitivity now, and have to beware in certain circumstances. The positive is that this has reduced over time (2 yrs), so whereas early post-sah (within first few months) I could not have the tv too loud or be in a room with more than 2 people talking, I can now cope with that, and more.

If I listen to music in my car I can’t have it too loud for very long, although I do test that now and again! Some tracks just have to be a bit louder now and again – on a positive note I am more considerate for myself

I occasionally miss getting roaring drunk but I know that more than a couple of drinks will bring on an almighty headache, and I am still not ready to cope with a hangover. I am happy to have a couple of drinks now and again, and then some water to balance it out and I feel good the next day It is so much better for me.

Overall I am massively more considerate for myself, and I think I am more empathetic towards those who are in a less fortunate position than me.

Kel

[KeithH]

What a cracking thread.

Been thinking about this, and my 3 might suprise a lot of people.

Luckly, I can listen to music, drink in moderation. I've never driven a car, or taken holidays overseas.

As with my time in the Royal Air Force, I had working Holidays (I was single then)

I've noticed a few have mentioned, that they miss the way they used to be.

I DON'T-My Stroke has made me stronger, more independant, and taught me things I never even knew I could do.

ADAPT, is the key word, also don't use NEGATIVES.

I miss work--honest.

I've been in catering in some form since the day I left school, right up to my Stroke.

Yes, I still cook at home, think it a way of keeping me active.

(Beside that, you can only take so many Anti-Acids!! Lez can't cook!)

I really miss the pressure, the challange, doing something different each day.

And with not working, I miss an income, that I was used to.

Now the Government say how much I can live on!! (Wish they could show me!!)

Now I'm a lot more carefull with money, as long as the bills are paid, food on the table, clothes on our bodies, anything else is a plus.

Prior to my Stroke, I know now I dwindle it, wasted it.

The main thing I really miss, is travelling.

On my days off, I thought nothing of getting on a train or coach, and see were it stopped.

Also visiting different Rugby Grounds, it was my way of unwinding.

Really looking forward to reading future posts on this thread.

[Winb143]

I miss walking with hubby daughter and dogs......hated it before SAH lol

I get teary easily swearing is so bad now !!! lol

I feel people feel sorry for me but I got to see my parents and brother again (was it a dream ~ Nope)...So I am lucky

Love to all

WinB143 xxxxxxxxxx

[Broron]

Hi all

I miss the old me,trying hard to get used to the new me,

I don't miss all the repeats on the TV because cant remember what I've seen before:lol:

I miss driving my truck and driving round the country

I don't miss being away from my family all week

I miss driving my car and being able to take my family out

I don't miss having to listen to my kids heavy metal/rap music played at brain bustin volume ( cos it gives dad a sore head)

Ron

[johntaras]

3 things I miss!

I've tried so hard to think of anything I miss.

But I can't think of anything.

So 3 things I don't miss!

What I don't miss is being stupid enough to bring work home pre SAH!

Not taking a break at work pre SAH, now going for a coffee!

Don't miss being so work obsessed!

The only thing I miss is my stamina, now I have to plan things to ensure no fatigue.

But is a small price to pay for still being here.

Love the new me!

Love the thread!

[garyolly]

I miss not doing miles and miles on my bike BUT now i get to do a more leisurely cycle enjoying the views

I miss my little Vespa scooter, sold her thinking about protecting my head ! BUT i don't miss the cold mornings

I miss not thinking about the slightest headache without worrying BUT i like the thought that I have family and friends who have my back

[DawnS]

I've been thinking about this one for a few days...Lol, not a few days seeing as the thread was only started yesterday!

I too am Scottish and miss alcohol! But it cuts the link between my brain and hands so it's just not worth it...on the plus side, no more hanovers!

I miss being able to jump in my car and get out of the village, but on the plus side as I can't drive, work can't hope for me to go back yet.

I miss logic! But, I've been told that as I am now having to use my right brain more, I might develop new skills I never had. That would be lovely!

Dawn x

[Karen]

Well, I'm 6 and a bit years on and probably way off many of our newbies radar .... Don't forget, that I used to be the same as you guy's... The things that I miss? .... well, if you'd asked the question a few years back, then you might have had a completely different reply ... but, life does get get better post SAH with time, so don't give up!... okay, so here goes...

1) My eyesight is still quite dodgy .... I had a third nerve palsy to my right eye ... so it means that my right eye, doesn't quite align with my left one ... I still do a fair bit of sewing and crafting, but it's a strain on my sight ... however, I keep going with it, often with initiating the odd swear word or two or three...it really does help!

2) I miss being able to work on a regular basis, to be able to spell properly or form a sentence in the written word ... the use of the written word and sentence structure used to be my forte, but post SAH, I'm quite rubbish!

3) I miss not being able to drive as far as I used to.

Probably all of these things, plus others ...were a huge hindrance to me in the early years of recovery ... but, I've learnt to accept them and work with them, as there is no other choice and I've kind of got used to my imperfections, as it makes me who I am now and I quite like me!

[SarahLou]

Hello guys,

David this is a really good thread , you lil star!

I've had a good long think about this question, what do I miss.

Well, I don't miss the old me, I rather like the new one. I feel I'm more patient, more understanding, have more tolerance and empathy. I've also learnt that I don't have enough 'spoons' to waste worrying about the past, or the future, I think of the here and now. I don't need things and people cluttering my brain when they don't need to. I cannot change my past but I can aim for different things in my future. I can't hold on to things that I can't have because I simply don't have the energy now.

I've learnt that I have to pace myself, plan things better.

I guess the main thing I miss, or rather, have adapted to, is the drop in energy level. Pre SAH I'd walk to work which would take about an hour, I'd then work 8 hours, then come home, do the cooking, maybe a bit of housework, play a game with Miss C or something, then go off to water aerobics for an hour, come home then stay up late nattering with hub, catching up on our days.

I can't do that now.

Id love to read the way i did before, but I've adapted with that too. It's not the same though and I'm getting used to it, kind of.

But the one thing I really really do miss is the look on my dear dads face pre SAH. We are very close, he's one of my best friends, my rock. We've been through some rough times together, he saw me go through lots of pain after the transplant, he was at my side everyday. He lives for his family. The first thing I saw when I woke in HDU, while I was pretty much still away on plant Zorg, head tightly bandaged, drains and tubes everywhere, was my dear dads face, he looked down at me and squeezed my hand. I'll never forget that look. When I look in dads eyes now, or when I catch him looking at me a see a lil bit of heartbreak I can't take away. I know he is full of loving concerns but I wish I could take away that lil bit of pain that's always there.

From my SAH I also gained 'seeing' my dear Grandma, so like dear Win I was given something to cherish. We went for a long walk and chat, I could feel the swish of her skirt, smell her scent.. I really really wanted to go with her, the pull was so so strong. But she woulnt let me.

I think I have gained more than I lost and hand on heart if I had the chance I wouldn't change anything.

Now, I've rabbited on and on way too much, sorry!!!

Take care, keep smiling and much love to you all.

SarahLou Xx

I guess my time here is not yet done. I'm still here for a reason, I've just not found that reason yet.

[MaryB]

Many beautiful words you all have written. Truly inspiring....... I miss not being organized and being able to multi task. My energy....... I so enjoy working hard. I miss not being able to fly by the seat of my pants & jumping in car and going somewhere for the day or a short trip or just doing something crazy. A friend of mine from Wisconsin wanted to meet 1/2 way in Chicago for the weekend because she thought since I was feeling better it would be fun.. I have to plan my fun! Sorry I am not ready for that kind of fun yet.

I am thankful it is winter and I am not feeling frustrated by not being able to work hard working outdoors.

I am thankful I have set an example for my friends and family how to handle a life changing event and being able to roll with it ( most of the time).

I am thankful for the health I do have because life could be so much worse.

I like myself so much more now than I did before my SAH. It is almost like the practices I had done all before has made it easier for me to cope with something beyond my control. It is what is it is. Simple as that. Almost ZEN like ....... I know my limits. ( OK so last week I really over did it at work and paid dearly the past 6 days for it but I feel good today so I can say I know my limits today)

I am soooo thankkful I can put off painting my high ceiling in my old house!!!!! That is what I really logged on to write.

Happy weekend.

[Sandi K]

I love this thread!

#1 I miss the ability to sit in a restaraunt and focus on the conversation at the table. I miss the ability to attend meetings with lots of people at work and not be distracted by all the shuffling, side-conversations, tapping on laptop keyboards, and fiddling with smartphones.

#2 I miss being able to work an 8-10 hour day, 5 days a week and still grocery shop and do laundry and cook afterward and have an active social life on weekends. Feeling tired from all that was ok, feeling fatigued is a heavy blanket I would rather not know about.

#3 I miss being able to attend or hold large social gatherings without a second thought. Now I'm concerned about how many people are attending (how much noise, how much demand there will be for my attention and energy). We haven't had a large family gathering at our house since my SAH. This was the place to gather but now I don't have the energy and can't participate the way I used to. Not yet anyway.

Sandi K.

[Skippy]

I miss having a fantastic memory (used to remember sooo much for work which helped the hubby loads)

I miss not worrying every time I get a sharp twinge in my head

I miss being able to exercise without getting brain vibration

[tennissmithy]

Interesting topic!! I miss:

* not being able to do things on the spur of the moment like I used to- Now I plan breaks away, evenings out etc so I can still fit in work etc and not be too tired/headachey.

* being carefree about headaches/ pain in head/spine- even 5 years on I still worry about different pains I get in my head and spine (from where the hospital staff left all the bad blood running down my spine until I was on deaths door virtually:roll:)

* interacting with children as a teacher but much happier now i've been able to return to teaching!!

[kempse]

Apart from missing my pre-sah energy levels and the ability to get through every day (and not just a few) without a daytime sleep, I think the thing I miss most is probably being totally and blissfully unaware that I had any cerebral aneurysms! I am struggling to find anything positive about having another unruptured one in my head!

I also miss not having regular visual disturbances (aura) - sorry, can't think of a positive there either, but I have managed to live a normal life for the past three years even with these little inconveniences and I intend to continue, particularly as I am fortunate enough to be able to do so.

I don't think I miss much more, other than being a bit younger back then;-)

Sarah

Edited January 16, 2012 by kempse

[amexdm]

Hello,

Thanks to everyone for contributing and sharing thier thoughts. It was very interesting to see the differences of what people miss. I find if we can just focus on a few things and overcome them it is somewhat manageable. I look forward to hearing any more thoughts.

Hangin in

David

[Winb143]

your post made me cry in a good way Sarah L xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx